Learning Curve

Earlier today as I was getting ready to write my blog based on my observations at a local restaurant last night, I was confronted with the opportunity to really have a meaningful learning experience for myself. I need to give a little background to help you understand how I was taught some important lessons tonight.

I live in an apartment complex. For the past 20 years, though, I have lived in a house in a nice, mid-upper middle class neighborhood. The kids in my neighborhood were from two-parent families that had good, steady jobs. They put their children in piano lessons and Little Dribblers basketball. They stood on the front porch at night and called the kids in to dinner. The kids were respectful, clean, and fairly literate. In this small town, they knew everyone in the neighborhood, and we all knew them. Actually, we only started having kids on the block in the past 12 years. When families began "populating" the local schools, some of us contacted the comissioners' court to have a "Children at Play" sign put up. We all took responsibility for raising the children of our town.

Now, in my apartment complex, there are a couple of young girls that always say "Hi" to me. They think my scooter is pretty cool and always comment on it, and they have realized over the past few months that I will actually acknowledge their presence, so they have started talking to me more. Tonight, they stopped by to see if I would buy something from their school's fundraiser (they knew they had a sucker!). When they came in while I looked through the brochure, I realized that they would become my observation.

"Wow. You must be rich. Your house is so clean, and it smells so good." "Your furniture matches. That is pretty cool." "You have pictures from Paris. Have you been there? Wow!!" "You have a laptop? You must really have a lot of money."

Lori and Ellie (not their real names) were both dressed in shorts and had ballpoint pen "tattoos" all over their arms and legs. I detected the acrid scent of cigarettes on them. Both of them have beautiful blue eyes that can't really be seen through the shaggy hair that covers the eyes. (I had flashbacks of my mother saying, "Get that hair out of your eyes, young lady!") Lori chatters incessently, but Ellie opened up after a little while. I formed some opinions, based on students I had taught in the past, so to give a basis to the opinions, I began to casually ask some questions.

I found out that the girls are cousins. Their moms have the same dad, but different moms. Lori lives here, but Ellie stays here a lot when her mom has to work or has something else to do. Ellie's dad is in prison, but hopefully will get parole in December. When he does, she will go live with him, and he will buy her a computer for her schoolwork. Ellie will be 13 in May but is in 7th grade because she failed twice. Lori only failed once and is in 4th grade right now. Both girls are from single-parent households and live with their moms. Both have a multitude of siblings and step-siblings. Ellie has three brothers and two sisters that range in age from "baby" to 27. Lori has seven brothers and sisters, but she's not sure how many are "real" and how many are "step." Her four-year-old brother isn't in pre-k because he is mean, and he cusses a lot, so he can't stay in the program.

I asked them about computers since I had read the technology article this weekend. Neither one has much access to computers at school, and neither one has a computer at home. I asked about books. Both girls said there were no books in their houses, but Ellie said she likes to read at school. Lori can't check out books because her mother lost her library books at her old school, so she can't use the library until the fine is paid. In Language Arts, they write paragraphs about what they learned from the stories they read, and sometimes they get to make up stories. In Reading, Lori just learned all about bats, and she proceeded to describe the various species to me--in detail!

I was cooking supper because my "video" group was coming for dinner, so it really enthralled the girls. They stood and watched me cut up veggies and saute chicken. They were impressed. They said usually their moms made frozen dinners or things from a box. Ellie asked me what my favorite restaurant was, but she had not heard of any I named. The nicest restaurant she had been in was Taco Villa.

What did I learn from tonight? That I lead a very sheltered and selfish life. I take so many things for granted. I have been very blessed in my life. I have felt a little sorry for myself because I gave up a lot to return to graduate school. I realize now that I have not been seeing things clearly. It took two tough little girls to show me how lucky I am. I also realize that teachers are making a difference in their lives. They talked about their good and bad ones. They made me tear-up when they said good-bye and said they wished I was their teacher. What they don't realize is that tonight THEY were my teachers.